


You don’t know the whole story

by Melody78



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Blood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2019-10-17 20:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17567615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melody78/pseuds/Melody78
Summary: When I'm stressed, I write, and also I tend to be a lot more dramatic than I usually am. Sorry ^^There are so many great works in this fandom already and I wasn't sure, if I should post anything longer, because I'm still new to this and I'm trying to figure at what kind of author I am, but I decided that I should do it, if only for myself.I hope some of you will like it <3I'm sorry for any mistakes. English is my second language.





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

> When I'm stressed, I write, and also I tend to be a lot more dramatic than I usually am. Sorry ^^  
> There are so many great works in this fandom already and I wasn't sure, if I should post anything longer, because I'm still new to this and I'm trying to figure at what kind of author I am, but I decided that I should do it, if only for myself.
> 
> I hope some of you will like it <3
> 
> I'm sorry for any mistakes. English is my second language.

\- Honey! Where is my shirt?

Yuzuru jumped up from the couch at the sudden noise, his heart beating erratically. He couldn’t believe he fell asleep. After cleaning the whole house, he sat down in the living room and closed his eyes for a few seconds. Seconds! How could he forget that he had to iron HIS shirt. He was screwed. He didn’t have any more space on his body for the bruises, which were definitely coming now.

\- Stupid, stupid, stupid. – He was muttering to himself, hitting his head with his hands. 

Then he heard the footsteps.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still not satisfied with this chapter, but I want to move forward, so I decided to post it. Sorry that it took me so long to update again. Hope some of you will enjoy it <3

If someone had told Yuzu ten years ago, that after winning his second consecutive Olympic gold medal he would retire and settle down with a boyfriend, he would have laughed in their face.

But oh well…. life is full of surprises.

Four years ago Yuzuru officially retired from competitive skating. He didn’t have anything to prove anymore. He made history. He still loved to skate, loved the ice. There was no doubt that he wanted to stay in figure skating world, but back then he felt like he was missing out on simple things in life, like going out, meeting people. He needed a break from the press, pressure and expectations. He wanted to take some time off, enjoy life, do things other than skating.

Yuzuru stayed in Toronto. Brian told him, when he was leaving the club that he’s going to have an offer for him and he should wait patiently. So he did. He had enough money, he participated only in a few ice shows, but he concentrated on himself, on his needs. It’s okay for people to be a little bit selfish sometimes.

He decided to explore Toronto. Go to the places he knew of, but never bothered to actually visit them. The nearby park became his new favourite place. He came there on daily basis, listening to music, reading. He enjoyed being simply surrounded by nature.

And then unexpectedly he met Nick.

He came up to Yuzuru when he was sitting in the park, feeding birds with some leftover bread one day. It was warm outside, sunny afternoon in September. Yuzuru realised that someone stopped walking and just stood there in front of him, watching, observing Yuzuru with dark eyes. He started to get a little bit uncomfortable, he opened his mouth to ask if the stranger was alright, but then the man said that he was mesmerised by his beauty and he wanted to ask him for coffee. Yuzuru almost forgot that he hated coffee, because he became a blushing idiot. No one told him something like that so openly before. He was so surprised, but they hit it off instantly. Even though they had completely different interests and occupations, they were never bored with each other’s company.

Yuzuru felt loved and protected, but his inexperience was showing. Maybe he had been a little naïve and sometimes too submissive. He tried to please Nick in every way possible. When he was competing he didn’t care about keeping contact with others. Now after retirement he felt really lonely, no audience, no applause. It was difficult. So when Nick came into the picture his desperation was showing. He gave his everything to the very first person, who showed an interest in him. He had someone to kiss, to hold, to hug, to talk to, always. Everything went so quickly. Nick was his first everything. 

He was sweet. He took him on dates in fancy restaurants. Gave flowers. Maybe he expected too much too soon. Yuzu didn’t know if he was comfortable with all the physical contact, but he figured that people who were dating did this, so all the touching even in inappropriate places was fine. He couldn’t ask anyone for advice. Later he realised that maybe if he had talked with Brian he would have known that he didn’t have to say yes to everything. That he too had the right to set rules. But we learn our whole lives. 

Yuzuru didn’t really know anything about Nick’s family. When he asked, the older man screamed at him to mind his own business so he didn’t try anymore. He only knew that Nick works as an architect for a big company and that he travels a lot.

Not even a year passed when they decided to move in together. Yuzuru packed all his clothes and moved to Nick’s apartment. His mother was long gone from Toronto and she came back to her husband in Japan. He knew that it was necessary, she sacrificed so much for his career, but he still missed her a lot, especially when things started to change. 

Drastically.

It all started with the fact that Yuzuru didn’t know how to cook. Anything. Even if his life depended on it. He would probably cook his fingers and not the dish. And he didn’t think that he would actually have to learn how to cook. 

One evening Nick came home and Yuzuru knew immediately that something was wrong. He didn’t say a word. He was watching TV, relaxing, providing his body with rest, which it deserved. But his blissful time didn’t last long. A figure stepped in front of TV and was glaring at him with their arms crossed. Yuzu tried to smile but to be honest he was a little bit scared. Should you feel like that with a person you love? He felt like he did something wrong, but he didn’t know what.

\- I’m hungry. Don’t you think that you should have prepared something when I get back from work? You stay here the whole time doing nothing, paying for nothing. You think I keep you here for sitting on your fat ass and watching stupid programs? 

He grabbed Yuzuru by his arms and pulled him up. They were the same height but Nick was so much stronger. Yuzu’s arms hurt but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything.

\- Ahm…I never cook. I thought you knew that I don’t know how…I always hurt myself by doing anything in the kitchen…  
\- I don’t care. Go now and make me something or I will lose my patience.- Nick said, almost throwing Yuzuru in the direction of the kitchen.  
Yuzuru rubbed his arms, wincing. He thought quickly if he knew how to prepare anything. It didn’t even cross his mind that Nick was wrong. That he shouldn’t be treated that way. Maybe it was true. Maybe he became lazy…

He decided to prepare spaghetti. It shouldn’t be that hard, right? But he was so shook from the scene earlier that his hands trembled and a lot of ingredients fell to the floor. He tried to pull himself together, remember that it was the man he loved and Nick loved him to. He controlled his breathing and tried not to get a panic attack now. Things changed so quickly. 

He wanted to talk to Nick today because Brian finally offered him a job as a coach. He always wanted to help little cute children in achieving their dreams. He loved children. But apparently it’s not a good time to talk about it. 

When he burned second pot trying to make sauce, Nick came into the kitchen.  
\- What’s taking so long? What is that smell? Did you burn everything?  
Yuzuru didn’t even have a chance to reply.  
\- Nick, honey, don’t be mad, you know I…  
Nick slammed him into the wall and punched him in the stomach. When he was lying on the floor he kicked him everywhere he could, but not in the face. Never the face.  
\- You will learn to respect me.  
It was like completely different person and Yuzuru wished he had been more careful.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another one. Thank you to all the people who read the story so far <3  
> I'm sorry for any mistakes.

Yuzuru’s POV

Most people took me for an incredibly confident guy, but it wasn’t always like that. Sometimes I could be really insecure and doubt myself. When I was competing I had Brian, Tracy, my Mom and Javi telling me that I was strong and would overcome everything, what life threw at me. After retirement I found myself under influence of only one person. One person which should have loved me unconditionally and supported me. But it’s been a year since I felt loved.

Every day I heard that I was getting chubby and lazy and out of shape. At first I believed that with his critic, his…punches and kicks Nick had his best interest in mind. I truly believed that. But it’s been going on for so long and it’s getting so hard for me to deal with him and with these horrible thoughts he puts in my mind.

After his… “episodes” Nick always makes sure to apologize. He always doesn’t mean it. He had a stressful day at work. I said something wrong. I did something wrong. I was just sitting in the living room.

I hoped that at least today I could be free from him for a little while, because it’s my first day at work. I’m so excited! I missed the rink and I can’t wait to meet the kids I’m going to teach.

I tried to do everything perfectly. I prepared breakfast, laid out clothes for Nick, hummed softly one of my favourite Japanese songs and started eating.

\- Who told you you can start without me? - I heard and immediately a piece of toast stuck in my throat. I tried not to choke on it and swallow. My hands were trembling.  
\- I’m excited because it’s my first day. I wanted to leave as soon as possible. – _And maybe never come back. But where would I go…?_  
\- Just remember, because you work now, it doesn’t mean that you can neglect your duties at home. You don’t go anywhere else, but this house when you finish and you don’t talk to anyone, is that clear?  
\- Yes.  
\- Good boy. Eat and I will drive you to the rink. – _Oh no_.  
\- But I thought I could take a walk. It’s beautiful and warm outside today.  
\- Did I fucking stutter? Get dressed and get in the car. If you’re late, you know the consequences.

My appetite disappeared immediately. I washed the dishes quickly and cleaned the kitchen. I looked at myself in the mirror on the way out. Maybe Nick’s right. Maybe I should lose some weight. I’m going to have to check this later.

When we pulled up in front of the club I wanted to get out quickly, but Nick caught my wrist in a bruising hold and pulled me to himself just to kiss me passionately. I leaned into the kiss, missing his gentler touch, showing affection, but then he bit my lip hard and I flinched.

\- You’re mine, remember.

An then he drove off. I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding and looked in the direction of the rink. I gulped nervously when I saw Brian behind the window, observing me. Did he see anything? I fidgeted with my fingers and started walking towards the building trying to put on a smile.

He’s gone now. Relax.

Brian was waiting for me at the entrance. When I saw him all the tension left my body. After all these years a beautiful bond formed between us. I don’t know if I could train here and win so many times if it wasn’t for Brian and his support.

When I was standing in front of him I saw concern in his eyes.  
\- Yuzuru. Are you alright?  
I couldn’t answer, just nodded with a smile and prayed that he believed me. He didn’t say anything more just opened his arms and I couldn’t help but lean into his embrace. Familiar sounds, familiar face, familiar smell. It’s like everything is right in my life again. Like… I got lost somewhere along the way and now here it’s all okay again, it’s safe.

\- I’ve got a surprise for you. – Brian whispered and I loosened my grip on him and saw a very smug look on his face.  
\- Brian, what did you do? – I said and couldn’t keep a smile off my face. This time a real smile.  
\- Come, I can’t wait to see your reaction.

He took my hand and led me to the rink. The sight of the ice relaxed all my muscles. I saw a bunch of children on the ice, the older ones confident, the younger a little bit wobbly, but still determined. So cute.  
\- Brian. I know I’m going to teach children. You knew how much I loved this idea when…  
I froze when somewhere between the kids I saw a very familiar figure. A person I missed so much that I pushed him out of my mind because it hurt to remember. Because this person was everything I could have, but never got the courage to fight for it.  
\- JAVI! COME GREET YOU NEW WORK PARTNER! – Brian screamed so Javi could hear him above all the kids’ voices.  
Javi looked up and our eyes met instantly. His smile blinded me. Oh God, it was all coming back now.  
I saw him trying to get to us through the see of children and suddenly he was in front of me. It seemed like he was waiting for a permission to touch me, to hug me, his arms were open for me, he left the decision for me. After these last horrible months with unwanted touch which I couldn’t fight, it was so much that I started to cry. I put my hand on my mouth to stifle the sobs but it wasn’t helping much.  
Then I felt strong arms circle my waist and I hid my face in the solid chest in front of me. I don’t know how much time passed, but at some point I felt myself being lifted a little bit and moved to another, smaller and quiet room. When I calmed down a little bit I realised that I was on Javi’s lap, cuddled in his arms and I got his shirt wet with my tears. I blushed, I was so embarrassed. I tried to pull away from him a little bit, but he held me tight and didn’t let go. I looked unsurely into his eyes. Is he going to be mad, that I ruined his shirt? Maybe I should offer to wash it or buy him a new one. I opened my mouth to say this, but Javi beat me to it.  
\- I missed you so much.  
And then I realised that his eyes were also red, like he was crying. I touched softly the skin under his eyes, then his stubble and his adorable curls.  
\- I didn’t know if we would ever meet again. I missed you. I… - _I’m scared. Please stay. Please help me. I don’t know what to do._  
I wished I could say all these things.  
\- I’m so happy you’re back, if just for a little while.  
\- Oh no Yuzu, I’m here to stay. I moved to Toronto two weeks ago. For good. That job offer from Brian was too good to pass up and… it wasn’t the only reason. Here I have everything I need. – He looked at me with so much emotion I looked away and fought the tears again. It couldn’t be what I though he meant, right?

We stayed in each other’s arms for a little while longer. I wanted to stay like this forever. Brian eventually came for us because he had enough of the kids.  
\- I thought that coaching you two was bad enough, but now… well, good luck to you.  
We all laughed like the old times and Javi let me go reluctantly. The ghost of his touch lingered and send a pleasurable tingles through my body.  
\- Go, teach them your spins, I’m going to get changed.  
Javi nodded with a smile and hurried to the rink.  
When I turned to look at Brian he had this sad and knowing look on his face. I sighed. Of course he knew me too well.  
\- Oh, Yuzu…If it’s too hard for you I can…  
\- No, I’m so grateful to you for doing this for me. You are the only person who knew about my… feelings. But you never pressured me to do anything and you’re not doing this now, so no more sad looks, please?  
I pouted and put my finger at the corner of his mouth and tried to push it up to make a smile. He laughed and slapped my hand away playfully.  
\- You know, I wasn’t only doing this for you. – He said with a mysterious smile, but I didn’t have the energy to think of what he meant.  
I went to the locker room and put on my old training clothes. I was careful to check, that nobody was there beside me. If they saw…  
I wasn’t even fully on ice when a little girl came up to me, almost falling on her face on the ice when she stopped in front of me, I caught her hands in fluffy pink gloves and smiled at her. She was bouncing excitedly.  
\- Mr. Yuzuru! Mr. Yuzuru! Can you and Mr. Javi teach us quadruple Salchow? It’s so beautiful! – Well… I could agree with that.  
\- And how old are you little princess?  
\- 4 and a half! I’m a big girl now! Can I, can I, can I jump, please?  
I locked eyes with Javier and we understood each other without words.  
We didn’t know if we should laugh or cry.  
It’s going to be harder than we though.


	4. Chapter 4

Javier’s POV

\- Thank you for your hard work! Return home safely! Goodbye Mrs. Andrews and goodbye Anna!

It was evening already and the last group finished their practice. I saw Yuzuru waving to the last girl who left the ice and closing his eyes. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw him interacting with children. He was so attentive and encouraging, but at the same time I knew something was off with my Yuzu. He thought that he could hide it, but I always could read him like an open book. Like now, he was moving slowly on the ice, only in his tight black training gear, oblivious to my eyes tracing his every move and every detail of his beautiful face like his pink from the cold air cheeks. But what concerned me the most was that I couldn’t find the fire, which burned in him so long and got him to the top of the world. It felt like with every slide he expected someone to stop him and he would let them. He wouldn’t fight. This realisation pierced my heart. I couldn’t watch anymore, I couldn’t stay in the corner and keep my distance when the love of my life was so close and he obviously wasn’t himself.

I skated slowly in his direction and stopped behind him. He must have been deep in thoughts if he didn’t realise I was that close. I reached for his waist and gently pulled him into my chest. He gasped quietly, but relaxed afterwards and leaned into me. I started caressing his waist, his abdomen. He seemed thinner than when he was competing, but I didn’t think of it as something alarming. He’s always been very thin. He was shivering slightly in my hold. I got bold and traced his long pale neck with my mouth. A little moan from his pink delicious lips gave me the courage to continue my actions. My hand became bolder, pulling his shirt higher and if I didn’t open my eyes for a few seconds I would miss the marks on his skin.

I pulled away immediately and pushed his shirt even further up. I couldn’t even be smug about the fact, that because of my actions Yuzuru’s mind was foggy enough to let me do this without objections. I gasped when I saw his chest and stomach. I rolled up his sleeves and I felt like throwing up. I heard a small chocked breath coming from Yuzuru and looked at his face.

He was looking at me, shocked, trying to cover his bruised skin.

\- Yuzuru! What happened? Did someone hurt you? How did this happen?

I reached for him but he flinched and raised his arms in front of his face, shaking his head.

\- Yuzu, baby, you have to tell me…

\- What does he have to tell you? Who are you and why did you make my boyfriend cry?

I turned around so quickly I almost fell to the ground. There was a man standing at the side of the rink. I haven’t seen him until now. Wait…boyfriend?

I felt trembling hand on my back, grasping my shirt, almost desperately.

\- We’re going home. Come here.

I heard Yuzu whimpering behind me but his grasp on my shirt loosened.

\- Yes Nick.

He tried to skate quickly past me but I caught his wrist. He turned and looked at me with so much fear in his eyes I almost collapsed.

\- Yuzuru, how did you get these bruises?

I saw that the man’s, Nick’s, features were twisted with anger and he was slowly making his way on the ice. Yuzuru started to breathe irregularly and I was really worried for him. Then there were hands grabbing him and pulling away from me and the man started to kiss him forcefully in front of my eyes. While Yuzu was silently crying. I didn’t know what was happening, what was I supposed to do. Yuzuru didn’t even fight against this man.

\- Why does he have the bruises on his body?

I asked and Nick slowly pulled away from Yuzuru, who turned his head away from me and hid his face in the other man’s shoulder.

\- Oh, if you two are as close as I just saw then you should know that he’s not so graceful on the ground as he is on the ice, right darling?

\- Nick, please let’s go home.

\- As you wish my love. Say goodbye to this gentleman here and we’re off. – Nick said and I saw him grabbing Yuzu’s ass hard and digging the fingers of his other hand in his abdomen where I saw the bruises.

\- Hey! You’re hurting him!

I was about to push his hands away but Yuzuru stopped me with his delicate hand on my chest.

\- Please Javier. Let go. I just…fell. Yeah. I fell. I’m clumsy. You know it. Nick is…Nick is going to take care of me. You don’t have to worry. Bye bye.

He waved and tried to give me a smile but he was pulled by Nick and rushed outside the building. I ran to the windows to see that man basically throwing Yuzuru in the car.

Bruises. Scratches. Fear. Oh my God.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! If there is anyone still interested in this story I'm sorry that it took me so long to update. I had to deal with a lot of problems and I forgot what I really enjoyed in life, writing for example.  
> This chapter is short, but I have to warn you, it contains a rape scene.  
> It was very hard for me to write it and I almost wanted to give up, but it had to be done for the story to move on.  
> Just to be clear, I don't wish this violent act on anyone, not on Yuzuru nor any human being.  
> If someone feels disturbed by it, I'm sorry, but I can't change the plot now.  
> Hope that some of you will be happy that things are moving forward.  
> Thank you for reading! <3

\- You little bitch!

Another punch to the face.

\- You thought you could go behind my back? That you could cheat on me?

Another kick to his already bruised ribs.

The moment they got home Nick basically dragged Yuzuru to the front door and when they got in he pushed him to the floor. Because of the fear he heard more than felt a crack in his ankle and then he couldn’t move it. All of this seemed like bad dream.

It should be only a dream.

He was on a verge on passing out.

Then Yuzuru saw Nick rolling up his sleeves looking furious. He tried to crawl away as soon as possible. It’s never been so bad before. He was so scared. But Nick caught him by his hair, pulled his head back and leaned down.

\- I’m going to show you where your place is. – Nick whispered in his ear and spat in Yuzuru’s face then dragged him by his hands and hair to the kitchen only to bend him over the table in the middle of the room.

Yuzuru barely felt the pain. His limbs felt like they didn’t belong to him anymore. He lost control of his own body, couldn’t command himself to move. The only thought in Yuzuru’s mind was “He’s going to finally kill me”. If he has to be honest yesterday he would be fine with it. But today, after he got to experience Javi’s gentle touch on his body, Javi’s concerned face when he saw how horrible his body looks, Javi’s mouth on his skin, he realised that he had something to fight for. He wasn’t sure if Javi would forgive him, that he was so weak, but he had to try. So he fought. He struggled. He screamed. But Nick was pushing against his bruises making it hard to breathe because of the pain. Yuzuru wished he had eaten more in the last days, maybe he would have more energy. Then he felt Nick pulling his pants and underwear down and he didn’t even had time to prepare or scream or beg not to, when Nick thrust his cock inside him. He was crying and screaming for him to stop, but Nick was laughing and moving inside him even faster and harder, slapping his already bruised skin. At some point he felt something trickling down his thighs. Yuzuru felt like throwing up.

He was ruined.

He felt as if he was on a plane right before a crash.

Heart-wrenching sobs were escaping his throat, but it meant nothing to the man abusing him now.

\- Don’t touch me! I hate you! I hate you so much!

Yuzuru didn’t know how he could make such a bad decision. How did it come to this? He always thought everything through. He was once in control but he let this monster take it away from him and it’s his own fault. Fight left his body. He did it himself and he will pay the price.

But suddenly there was a knock on the door and Nick stilled, buried inside of him. There was his chance. If he could just…

He pushed his whole body away from the table and found himself on top of surprised Nick. He didn’t care that he was half naked he just needed to get to the door. He started to crawl away and started to scream “Help!” when he felt sharp pain in his back. He immediately got dizzy and fell to the floor completely. His vision was blurred and he was getting cold quickly. His cries for help quietened down.

He was still aware of a group of people barged into the house. There were screams, a lot of footsteps, but Yuzuru recognised this one face looking at him heartbroken, shocked and picking him up and saying something but he couldn’t understand.

\- Help! There’s so much blood!

Yuzuru smiled softly. He’s safe.

\- Hi Brian. Please help me. – and then he only saw black.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I know it's been forever, but I had to concentrate on other things for some time.   
> I hope some of you will enjoy this next chapter, which gives some hope for the future.  
> I'm sorry for any mistakes!

Irritating beeping noise woke him up.

He felt like he had slept forever and the horrible nightmares didn’t let him rest at all.

For a moment he was relieved to be awake, but then he felt his whole body aching and he remembered everything.

Nick. Pain. Resignation.

He opened his eyes quickly in panic only to be blinded by the bright lights. Someone was squeezing his hand and talking, but he couldn’t recognise the voice and his sight was blurry. He wanted to pull his hand away from the grasp, but his body didn’t listen to him.

\- Yuzu, Yuzubear, are you awake? Can you look at me? – these softly spoken words registered finally in his brain.

Brian. Brian was with him. He let out a breath of relief. When he opened his eyes this time his vision was so much clearer.  He tried to squeeze Brian’s hand too, but he barely moved his fingers. When he looked at Brian, he felt a little guilty because his face showed so much concern. He must have really scared him. Images of that horrible day flashing before his eyes.

\- Thank you. – whispered Yuzuru overwhelmed by emotions.

One tear slipped down his pale cheek.

Brian reached out with a sad smile, wiped the tear off and caressed his cheek.

\- Always, Yuzuru. Always.

He must have fallen asleep again after that because when he woke up, Brian was sleeping on a chair next to his bed still holding his hand tightly. Yuzuru felt so much better now he could actually feel his limbs and move them a little bit and his heart was beating steadily and not so quickly like before. So far he only noticed that his ankle was wrapped in a cast so it had to be broken. That’s why he heard a crack earlier. His back also felt very stiff, but he didn’t remember what happened. He sighed. With these constant injuries, first skating now…this, he surely won’t be able to walk on his own in 20 years.

But then he looked at Brian and thanked all the gods that they put him on his path. He wouldn’t be the athlete and a man he is now without him. They weren’t so close when they started to work together but they figured it out. They figured themselves out. And they worked. Every success and every accident brought them even closer. And now this.

He didn’t realise that Brian woke up and was looking at him still concerned and a little bit angry now. Yuzuru shrank away on the bed. And now he knew. Nick took something from him which isn’t going to come back quickly. He’s not going to be the same person ever again.

\- Why didn’t you tell me? – Brian whispered, his tone accusing – You know you can trust me with everything.

\- But…everything is fine, I’m okay… you got me out of there… - Yuzuru said in a small voice.

\- Well, maybe too late! – he yelled suddenly.

Yuzuru cowered away, taking his hand away and facing the wall. He expected a strike, a kick, a punch.

_You’re not weak. You’re not weak. He didn’t break me, he didn’t._

\- He didn’t break you. – He turned around suddenly with wide eyes. He wasn’t supposed to say it out loud. Brian was looking at his arms where bruises were still noticeable.- I had been so stupid. I… I knew something was wrong. You flinched. You weren’t so outgoing. You raced immediately after work to home. You lost weight. I should have known. I would kill him. Yuzuru. You should have trusted me with this and told me. – he sounded like he was in physical pain and Yuzuru couldn’t take it. He did this.

\- I’m so sorry, Brian. So sorry.

He put his arms out as if asking for a hug and Brian gave him the comfort he needed. In his embrace he felt loved, safe, Brian was giving him strength and hope. He’s not alone.

\- Javier called like 20 times. I didn’t tell him anything. It’s not my decision but just so you know. He was worried sick. He told me what he saw, he told me that he thought someone was hurting you. He wanted to go to your house. – Yuzuru’s breath hitched with panic. Desperate eyes trying to find Brian’s to reassure him that that scenario didn’t happen – Calm down, Yuzu. I told him not to. I told him that I would check up on you and tell him if you’re okay, because I know that he would kill that bastard as soon as he saw what I’ve seen. I told him that you left, alone, that you needed to leave and visit your mother because she’s sick. But I think you should tell him. He’s not stupid, Yuzuru. And I know that your feelings go way beyond friendship. Javier’s too. So stop being stupid and get a good guy.

\- It’s not that simple. – Yuzuru closed his eyes, wishing he could disappear.

\- It is! Javier loves you so much. He’s pining after you ever since he got back to Toronto! He respects you. He didn’t want to make a move on you too quickly, because he was scared of rejection. First there’s trust then relationship. And he didn’t even know you’re in a relationship. I didn’t tell him because it’s your life, but now

I regret it. We both saw that something wasn’t right, but we didn’t say anything, you always acted so happy around the kids. But now I know you only wanted to forget even if just for a couple of hours.

\- Please Brian don’t tell him anything yet. Please I’m not ready - He was getting desperate, trying to reach out for Brian, but whimpering in pain, when he moved his back.

\- Shhhh…easy. Calm down Yuzu, I’m not going to do anything without your consent. Please calm down and lie down. We don’t want the wound on your back to open again. - Brian sighed, helping him get comfortable on the bed again. – Ok. We’re not telling Javi, yet, but… because he can’t take care of you now, you’re staying with me, when you get out of here – Yuzuru’s eyes widened – Don’t look at me like that. Will you let me help you? I don’t know if you remember but YOU asked for it. – he smiled softly taking hold of Yuzuru’s hand again.

There was some light in his dark world at last.

There was only one matter left, that still bothered him and made him look around the room in fear every minute.

\- Where…Where is Nick now? What if he finds me? – his breath picking up.

\- The police got him. Yuzuru…he…he’s mentally ill. The police had been looking for him for years now. He…it isn’t the first time he did something like that, but it’s never been so bad before. You have to know. It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have helped him. He was very sick. That’s why he never said anything about his family. He was abusing them, beating, hurting, that’s why they cut him out of the picture. No one is blaming you, for what happened. Yes, he was sick, but it’s not an excuse for what he did to you. When I saw you…Yuzu…He stabbed you with a knife! When you closed your eyes when I held you I thought it was over. – Brian sat down heavily in his chair by the bed and looked down, trying to hide his tears and to erase these dreadful memories of lifeless body in his arms.

A small soft hand made him look up when it touched his cheek. And they sat there, looking at each other in silence, with tears running down their faces, trying to think of a way to start over.


End file.
